Fine Line - Song Story
June 24, 2020
I started writing this song many years ago, but just couldn’t finish it. I would walk around the house humming the melody and I jotted down some lyrics for the chorus, but I couldn’t get any further with it. I was completely stuck. Thinking back, it was as if I cracked the door open just enough to let in a sliver of light but didn’t have the courage to open it all the way. I was carrying so much pain; it was heavy, and I couldn’t seem to let go of it. I envisioned myself hunched over from the weight of sadness and although I made every effort to stand, the weight was too much. I needed breakthrough. I needed freedom. I needed joy. Not only was I stuck on the song, I was stuck emotionally and spiritually.
During those years I did experience many times of happiness and joy. To the casual onlooker I appeared to be perfectly happy and content. But inside of me there was a river of sadness and disappointment whose strong current continually pulled me in its direction. Fighting against the current was a constant, exhausting, daily struggle. Through many years of prayers and tears, I slowly progressed toward a deep place of honesty, surrender and acceptance, and I allowed the Lord to gently peel away the layers of pain around my heart. At last I was free. The circumstances hadn’t changed, but my perspective had. Finishing the song became a cathartic experience for me, as I was finally able to give utterance to emotions I was feeling and to acknowledge the extreme tension between sorrow and joy in my life.
I’ve come to realize that on the roadmap of life several parallel roads run in tandem. These roads coexist very closely; they are intertwined in many ways, twisting and turning and winding together simultaneously; yet they remain equidistant from each other. Interestingly, they all lead to the same place, so no matter which road I choose, I will eventually arrive at the intended destination. But I have a choice which road I will travel down. At times I trudge along the muddy road called SUFFERING, not realizing that a much more desirable parallel road – the JOY road - is accessible to me. I am able to cross over onto the JOY road when I release my burdens to my heavenly Father, when I release my desire to control circumstances, when I submit to His perfect will for my life, and when I genuinely trust Him with everything. I stay on JOY road by spending time in His presence and by allowing HOPE to fill my heart and mind. Truly, JOY is only a step away and with the Lord’s help I can cross the line and stay on that road.
One of the most perplexing contradictions in the human heart is the coexistence of suffering and joy. The fact that these two things can be experienced simultaneously shows us that joy is so much more that happiness. Joy doesn’t come from our circumstances and isn’t dependent upon them being ideal. In Galatians 5:22-23 Paul lists joy as one of the fruits of the Spirit: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control”. These characteristics are not fleeting human emotions but are attitudes and habits of character cultivated by walking in relationship with our Father. It is possible to be full of joy even in the midst of adverse circumstances. Furthermore, the bible assures us that a Christian’s sufferings are not pointless, but they are actually producing something good in us. In fact, we can possess an attitude of joy in the midst of our pain, because we know that “suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope.” (Romans 5:3-4)
Suffering and joy are so mingled together in the gospel that we simply can’t ignore the implications this reality has for our lives. We only have to think of Jesus, who endured more suffering than any human being could possibly imagine. We are told of his great agony in the Garden of Gethsemane, where his heart was so filled with anxiety that he literally perspired great drops of blood as he prayed for his Father to take the cup of suffering away. He was keenly aware of the tortuous road set before him. It’s hard to fathom how he acquired the courage and strength needed to carry out his Father’s plans. We wonder, how was he able to endure the gruesome death in store for Him? Hebrews 12:2 gives us the answer: “for the joy that was set before him.” Even Jesus had to choose the JOY road. This is where he gained the supernatural strength needed to carry out the plan for the salvation of the world.
The bible tells us that we too can expect to suffer in this life, but with the right attitude these sufferings will cause us to know Jesus in a deeper way. “Fine Line” communicates the struggle to rise above despair and brokenness and cross over onto the JOY road. While the song is full of pain, it is even more full of hope, and I pray that is what you receive. My prayer is that you are inspired to choose the JOY road for your own life.